Love Yourself, Being Self-Compassionate May Kill Suicidal Tendencies

Isn’t it a fact that we are made to feel that mistakes mean calling for punishments? The moment the child does any mistake, he or she is scolded and punished. The mistakes are inevitable at times and are just the building blocks of life. We learn out of them and keep growing.

However, the punishments are the poles on the other side of horizon. They tend to shift from the very fundamental thing i.e. love and forgiveness. It keeps us from being self-compassionate. A self-compassionate person looks at the mistakes with kindness and understanding. It allows to accept the responsibility of the performance. It means that we care for ourselves and own the tasks. It means that we accept that improvement is the routine process of life.

Everyone in the world is under pressure be it a C.E.O. or a college student or even a lady in the house. They have their own tasks and responsibilities. They have their benchmarks to perform and achieve. They are loaded with tons of expectations from their stakeholders. So, if someone is unable to perform, does it mean that the world is over and it warrants for self-harm.

No and never.

Having said so, let us accept that the feeling of suicide for whatsoever reasons is a harsh reality of the society. So, at the first go, we have to show and make everyone around us to feel happy and proud of oneself, the journey of which must start with the child in the house.

Further, we must understand the symptoms of person under stress and who is knowingly or unknowingly taking steps towards the ultimate self-harm. So, if we hear “I’m going to go kill myself” or “I don’t deserve to live” or “The world is not worth living” or “I’m pained to the heights” or any such statements then it is actually an alarm. No chance to overlook at all. Increased aggression, irritation, anxiety, lack of excitement and sadness are some of the other indications that may escalate to the ultimate level.

It is therefore suggested that a close watch must be kept so that the person is not having or attempting to have items that can kill someone such as knife or poison or something of that sort.

One may even be seen to donate or destroying the valuable possessions or resort to substance abuse. Lack of participation or an abnormal level of isolation, change in sleeping patterns, messages like good bye on social media or in person, spending less time with friends and family are some of the indications that should keep you on high alert.

This all is due to burnout in the job profile or even in academics or relationships. There are multiple factors for such burnouts and we find high-end professionals developing the sense of helplessness and hopelessness, the two driving forces of depression. The higher the level of depression the higher is the probability of suicide.

The burnouts make the person to go for self-isolation, the resultants of which are detachment and loss of motivation. It needs to be understood here that stress generally cause physical damage while burnout leads to emotional damage. Most of such burnouts are attributed to wrong decisions taken, be it getting into wrong job or a wrong career altogether or even a wrong relationship.

All these decisions are taken for a life time and once something wrong happens then burn out happens due to the conflicting values between the profiles expected and achieved. Therefore, a correct decision to identify and nurture the natural set of talents and abilities so that a sense of personal satisfaction and accomplishment does happen, is the crux of the success in life.

Any untoward happening simply gets the person to indulge with drugs and other addictive behaviours or to resort to uncontrolled self-destruction.

So, how to find a solution?

The participative culture both at home, school and workplace mitigates the risk of depression and therefore the tendency to commit suicide. If you find the person showing the symptoms of being burned out or getting depressed, or showing suicidal tendency, then outrightly reach out to his family member or friend or colleagues. Taking the help of mental health professional does help.

Show them the care and give good attention to them. Love them and encourage them to enjoy and love their life. Show them their potentials and help them to recall their achievements. Be self-compassionate and overlook mistakes. It will make the life easier and worth-cherishing. Life is so beautiful. Love it. Love everyone.

Love yourself.

-- Satyendra Kumar Singh/Lucknow

(The author of this article is a well-known writer, career counsellor, trainer and educationist. He regularly holds workshops for skill development and job creation. He is a panelist on several media channels and writes his views on national and international issues. Views expressed are personal)