There is a saying that the way we believe is the way we behave, and the way we behave is the way we do business. Today let us all do an attempt to understand this human behaviour. Let us take an example of a person doing some impromptu dance steps in an office or at a formal gathering.
We will say that he is a nut. The same person is seen doing the same steps at a disco, with music and psychedelic lights. We will say, this guy is enjoying his life. So what has changed in these two situations? One might say “context” and “situation”.
Actually it’s your own lens with which we look at life has changed. Nobody behaves, they just perform actions and actions performed by one person get labelled by us as acceptable and not acceptable, depending on the way they look at life.
So the behaviour of human beings are actions which are externally seen but internally driven. Let’s imagine an India Pakistan T 20 match. What kind of behaviour does each of us exhibit? Urgency throughout the day, to reach our home at a time to watch the match. Will the same behaviour be exhibited for an India Zimbabwe match?
So many people cry on emotional scenes in a movie. We do the same because we associate ourselves with the happenings on the screen, we start to FEEL. So stronger the feeling, stronger the behaviour. In a war movie, the general gives a pep talk to troops to instil the feeling of patriotism.
Now let’s understand, where do the feelings come from. Let’s say 3 students of a school are caught by the principal while they bunked their classes and are suspended for one week. The first boy is least bothered and says just 7 days. The second boy is excited, wow 7 movies in 7 days.
The third boy gets nervous, as to how he will face his parents. So 3 different feelings. For the same situation. So these feelings come from a very common word we use, ATTITUDE. Our attitudes are shaped by 3 things, our upbringing, our education and our environment.
For instance, if we talk about a temple and a church. In a temple, the first thing we do is remove our shoes and keep them aside and then pray. In a church, it’s perfectly acceptable to enter with the shoes and pray. So it’s again two different actions but different attitudes. So our attitudes come from our BELIEFS.
If I am grown up in north India and see the milk boiling out of the vessel, it’s a bad omen, in the western part of India during house warming rituals, they say, let the milk overflow, it brings prosperity, otherwise, it is bad. So it’s all about the belief. Next time if you wish to change your behaviour, change your belief. Attitude, feelings and behaviour will automatically fall in place.
Now what are beliefs and how are they shaped up? If I take people’s opinion on stealing, most will say it’s bad. Who told us that it’s bad, our parents, our teachers, our elders, so on and so forth. They actually planted certain VALUES in us which creates our belief systems.
These values make our character and behaviour shows our personality. So this journey which starts from character and goes up to the destination of personality, covers, beliefs, attitude, feelings en route. Build your behaviour on your values and you always get a great personality…All the best….
— Arvind Mishra/Lucknow
(The author is a city-based leadership coach, corporate trainer and an Internationally certified Design Thinking Master practitioner. This is a weekly column and every Saturday readers will get to read some of his finest motivational thoughts.)